04 November 2009

This is the venom running through my veins.

I just decided to blog, I'm stuck at home for the rest of the day. That means no seeing Casey or anyone else, and no Drama Club. I really love Drama Club. It's brought me closer to the people in the group, as well as becoming a better person. I'm able to think a lot clearer than I usually have been. It's one of the few things I look forward to every week, and that's saying something. There's not much I look forward too anymore. Life's becoming more mundane in some parts and quite the opposite in other parts. It's just one of those things you realize every once in a while in your life, how it changes. Most people notice it before you do, and when they tell you about it, you just begin to go through the denying phase. No, nothing's changing. You're still the same person you were a year ago. That's almost never the case, you'll change a lot in one year's time. I really wish I could write like this when I'm working on songs. I wish it would just flow so easily from my mind, onto the paper. I guess you win some and you lose some. It's starting to sound redundant, so I'll drop that subject.

Don't you just hate when you look back on your past and see all of these things that you would change if you could? God, that makes me so sad sometimes. Like right now, I feel like I could just burst into tears because of all of the people that were once in my life that I cared for, and now they're not here anymore.

_I really did love you, for the time that we had together, for who you are, and how you cared about me. I know we've both moved on and it's for the greater good that we did but I just really wish things hadn't turned out they way they did. You probably have no idea how often I think about what it would've been like if things hadn't changed.

_You were my best friend, even though you live an hour and a half away and we only really met once. You're always so happy and nice and I just wished I could be like that all of the time. Thanks for inspiring me, you're still a great friend of mine even if we don't talk anymore. I hope your life is still wonderful.

_It would've been nice to have had you through these 16 years, but in all honesty you got the short end of the stick in that. You were a bad influence on my life the two or three years I actually knew you. I'm glad you're not dead yet, but please continue to stay away from me.

The people now in my life, have been a blessing I can't repay. I love you all, every last one of you.

Dancer dancer keep your feet in time and inside the lines
Everybody is starting to wonder what I'm talking about. 

How can I explain this? 
My God, explain yourself.

No comments:

Post a Comment