03 December 2009

Corruption is the American way.

So much teenage angst in your tiny less than 100 pound body, I'm scared it's going to rip you apart from the inside and a demon's going to come out. There's no reason to be mad, I haven't hurt you in any way, shape, or form. You've just got some problems you need answers to, but can't find them. Why you end up disliking me for it, it utterly unknown to all except yourself and God. Fear Him not, for He knows all. Everyone goes through that age and time, I know how it feels and you'll look back when you're my age and realize how foolish you acted. I know I have made some mistakes, but I don't regret them. I just deal with the consequences that come afterwards and keep living. I really hoped you wouldn't have hated me from the beginning. The sad part is, you have no idea who I am, nor did you even bother to care. You assumed I was a bad person and began disliking me based off of what you perceived. I had hoped you would be my friend, I really tried to make you not dislike me. Too late, I won't try to change what's happened now.

Speaking of friends, I love all of the new friends I've made this year, but the ones I had over the summer I will always love. Those were the people I really fit in with, but when school started we all kinda split up. I feel terrible because of it and I miss them all. I miss late nights just talking and driving places, having fun. Getting home at 5 30 in the morning because Denny's is even better that time in the morning. I miss how we would just end up hanging out without even planning it until ten minutes before. I miss all of the jokes we had, the times we shared, and the rest of the cliche stuff as well.

Some other stuff that's been on my mind the past few minutes, while I'm gathering up things to write about have been the speech I spent half of last night typing up, the little corner of my phone that has disappeared, how badly I need to start exercising again, when my band and I are going to finish this song so we can get it up on Myspace, and all of the crap being caused by Mr. He-Who-Won't-Be-Named-By-Drama-Club. The last subject has pissed me off both today and yesterday. I almost never get recognized in either of the classes I have, no matter how hard I try or do anything. I always get overlooked when it's semi-important. That really gets to me because people that don't try as hard as I do get so much praise from him and it just doesn't seem fair to me. I'm done with that topic, I don't have any idea where my career in music will ever start. If it ever does that is. I don't think he's going to help me out when it comes to that, he'll just blow me off again but this time it'll be even more important than he thinks.


  1. James, I love you and you too will always have a place in my heart that no one can fill. <3
    Hang out with me soon, okay?
    I love you darling<33

  2. I felt the samy way: so frustrated by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's disorganization & lack of consideration. But you said you wanted to apply to NYU...they offer summer programs for high school music students & I'm planning ona attending their acting program (if I get accepted). I've learned you have to do the research by yourself, because teachers and guidance won't. http://steinhardt.nyu.edu/music/summer
    Also, you should really consider taking lessons from Mr. Nutter; his first instrument is clarinet and he majored in Music Theory. His home phone is (352) 259-1797.

    And I've been wanting to put together a jazzzz banddd... <3