So let's get a little closer now

I spill my heart for you.

SO ANYWAYS, school is going way better for me lately. I don't really have my mind wandering all the time anymore, all of my thoughts are organized and I can finally think straight.
I absolutely love music, it's pretty much my entire life and I don't want to move away from it.

Gotta gotta be down because I want it all.

This is still describing my relationship life. I don't think that'll change anytime soon, and I'm fine with that. I'm tired of getting lost in all of this relationship stuff and watching as every other part of my life falls down and gets worse. I need the rest of my life to be equal, so there's no part of it falling behind and bringing me down with it.

My birthday is in exactly two weeks from tomorrow and I'm really excited. I'm finally turning 16, but I don't really have anything going on except what other people want to do for me. I'm really glad that other people want to do something for me, it makes me know that someone cares for me. Even if I already knew that they do, I still like the thoughts. I always like thinking that someone cares about me.
So, for all of those who do care about me,

Thank you so much. I love each and every one of you guys.


Love, James.

The Unwinding Cable Car

Emotive unstable you're like an unwinding cable car

Listening for voices, but it's the choices that make us who we are

Go your own way, even seasons have changed just burn those new leaves over

So self-absorbed you've seemed to ignore the prayers that have already come about

This is the correlation of salvation and love (Don't drop your arms)

Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart

With quiet words I'll lead you in

La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la

La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la

Backing away from the problem of pain you never had a home

You've been misguided, you're hiding in shadows for so very long

Don't you believe that you've been deceived that you're no better than...

The hair in your eyes, it never disguised what you're really thinking of

This is the correlation of salvation and love(Don't drop your arms)

Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart

With quiet words I'll lead you in

This is the correlation of salvation and love(Don't drop your arms)

Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart

With quiet words I'll lead you in

You're so brilliant, don't soon forget

You're so brilliant, grace marked your heart

You're so brilliant, don't soon forget

You're so brilliant, grace marked your heart

You're so brilliant (This is the correlation)

Don't soon forget (Between salvation and love, don't drop your arms)

You're so brilliant (I'll guard your heart)

Grace marked your heart (With quiet words I'll lead you in and out of the dark)

La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la (Don't drop your arms)

La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la

This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)

(Don't drop your arms)

Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)

With quiet words I'll lead you in

This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)

(Don't drop your arms)

Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)

With quiet words I'll lead you in

This is my absolute favorite song and when I get better at guitar, I'll perform it at a coffeehouse.

<3


P.S. I'll post more stuff later, after homework.
And, you probably won't read this but I'm in love with you. Even though you don't know it.

I can't think of anything else to do right now.

But blog and draw. And I suck at drawing so I'll hold off on doing it, for now.
People always say that curiousity killed the cat; what if I'm not a cat? I hate having this whole part of me that wants to scream. It's really getting unfair now because I want what I can't have and I don't want anything more than to feel what it's like to have that back. Mr. Brightside, the song, really sums up how I feel quite well. "Gotta gotta be down, cuz I want it all." That line completely speaks what I could only say in a speech.
Im starting to listen to more alternative style music lately, I don't know why either. But Anberlin is my new favorite band as of Friday, I think it was. Hopefully, I'll be able to go to all of the concerts that are coming up in March, April, and over summer. Daniel has a really long list of ones that he wants to go to, mostly through March and April.

School is getting easier and easier to control and I'm not freaking out so much as I was a week ago. I can only hope that it keeps improving like this, or I'm going to have a problem.

I've come to realize that I need a haircut soon, so I'm going to get my mom to schedule it soon so I can get it cut like the picture I posted.

<3

Oh what an exciting weekend.

I meet this amazing girl, and then I come home.
I'm glad to be home though, this place is where I've begun to belong.
I saw two Red Bull cars chasing each other down the highway in Tampa.
My life is beginning to turn itself around again, and I'm extremely happy.
I have a new favorite band as of today.
I'm freaking out about my grades, still, but I'm working on bringing them up to their former glory.

Pfft, I'm so tired.
Goodnight.

<3

Last night I

Met the most amazing girl I've ever met. She is pretty much perfect, but the only thing is she lives in Tampa and I don't. This makes me really want to move to Tampa, just so I could be with her. I won't really move though, just make constant visits down there when I get my car and license. It's like, my life suddenly got better when I met her and I want it to stay that way. I'll never be able to move away from my friends just like that though, so it wouldn't be anytime soon. I just want to see her again, soon. <3

I can't wait for Valentine's Day

Because I'll be alone.
But that's not really a bad thing because I like being single compared to being in a relationship sometimes. I just have bad luck in finding good relationships because when I do find a good relationship, it ends early.
I hate it.

I also hating having to cancel plans with people because of me being sick. I'm sorry if I have already, it should end soon.
Later today, I should be in Tampa, which makes me happy cuz I haven't gotten to visit my cousins down there in forever.

I'll put some more stuff up later, maybe.

When I grow old I'll be alone.

I heart PlayRadioPlay!
I drew a picture for them in Algebra, and Kristina helped me draw a fat dinosaur for it.
Oh geez, I keep getting distracted in the classes that I'm not doing good in.
I realized earlier today that I want to be the frontman in a band.
Seriously, I really want to. But I won't get my hopes up because there's not a good chance of having any bands that need a guy in highschool being their frontman.

On another note, I'm single. Don't get all cliche about it either or I'm gonna judo kick your ass. Not really feeling any deep emotions lately, I guess it's my sickness taking out my ability to think deeply about anything and replacing it with me wanting to sleep.
That's about all I can say.



P.S. I'm trying to makeover my life right now, so I'll be a little bit of a mess for a while. Don't mind it.

Screaming is music too.

People really need to see that.

I think this girl that I know thinks that I'm going to break her heart, but she apparently doesn't know me. Some 9th graders need to learn. Apparently, so do some other people. BUT anyways, today was pretty fun, and the Algebra homework was really easy (:

I AM OFFICIALLY SICK.
Rocketships are great, and not paying attention in Algebra is too.
Chorus will bring me great success; I'm getting some lines in Grease, and I'm improving in my singing.
I hope I can get a career that doesn't involve too much deskwork or paperwork because that stuff sucks.
Oh geez, I really can't stand the sight of certain people; I get really really heartless when they're around and I take it out on other people.

Love, James